he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize