it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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