She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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