I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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