i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
