one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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