did you get engaged???
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize