I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
