We're facebook friends in real life
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
