I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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