How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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