She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
