"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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