she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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