No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
