am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
