moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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