we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
