Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
