Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
