I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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