Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
