DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
