she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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