Jerry, you need to find god
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
