He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
