Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize