my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The best revenge is premature balding
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
