Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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