I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
