After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
nutella sex= disaster
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
