yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
