The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We're not piercing ourselves today.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
