Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Congratulations! We have a period
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
