You're completely useless in the revolution.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
