We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
