He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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