I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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