remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize