But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize