Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
please come you make the beer taste better
i love accidental penises.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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