But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
