He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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