you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
