So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
