You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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