things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
