I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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