I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
