Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
