I never want to see another naked old woman again.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
sex in a hospital.. check
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
