Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
