pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
