just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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