i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
