I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
