Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
