Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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