Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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