Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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