so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
