You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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