I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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