5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Couch. On fire.
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