hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
