margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
